Monday 30 September 2013

Serious Talk.




Serious talk, I can't wait to get married. But I pray to know him or to fall in love with him after we get married. Yeah, i'm really inspired by the story of marry first and then fall in love with your spouse rather than the typical-love-story-thingy. Perhaps, we fall in love with each other yet, I don't want to have any special relationship before we are officially married. Most importantly, I pray to have the love that is blessed by Allah :).

Serious talk, Ya Allah, please keep this frail heart and save it for someone who can lead me to be a better person and most importantly, can lead me to Your paradise :). Allah, keep him strong too. I don't know where he is, or how he looks like. But I keep my faith on you.

Serious talk, no Im not desperate to have any hopeless relationship for now. Keep me strong, Allah :)


#IwishIhad YOU:), Let me fall in love with you under Allah's blessing.  No, I dont want Romeo & Juliet's love story anymore.









ramble. 
due to the #trending in Twitter. Out of nowhere, thinking to get married. *ceh*
12.20 am 

Sunday 29 September 2013

Bones and short


"you are allowed to love your curves, but why is it wrong for me to love my "bones"

Found that words on instagram. what crossed in your mind when you're reading it?.Have you ever been in that situation? When people are being so heartless, judging yourself about your physical appearance, talking and asking those stupid and mean questions that you can't even answer it. what even worse is, they start to laugh at you, making it as some kind of joke. For their entertainment. 

And in the end of the day, you feel pathetic, ugly, horrible and hate yourself. You sit in front of the mirror with the feeling of hating you own skin. Yes, because of all the words that people say to you. Have you?

Frankly speaking, I always been in that situation. Yes, and I know it slowly killing my own self. second by second. The truth is, I don't know how to put this in word or even in one sentence. Because the feeling that I got, every time I face the situation, my body automatically allows, only my lips to smile. To give the big smile that , those people really need for being so mean. "applause to you* I remind myself not to be mean like them and I end it with a smile not with words. 

Im naturally skinny and petite. Never in my memory that I starve myself or forbid myself not to eat. No, I don't starve. I eat and eat and yes I eat normally. More normal that those pretty gorgeous perfect ladies like Miranda Kerr or Nora Danish (perhaps). But still, it never grow or making any movement. not even a kg' or inch. But one thing that I realized that keep growing and moving is the people around me, especially their mouth and tongue. Like a judge in the court, they delightfully give comments and so-called-advise which made very spiteful remarks to me. Give name and call me "skinny,kurus, cekeding". Dush, thank god I still have the heart of Mahatma Gandhi, if not I am sure I'll throw some bananas into their mouth for being such ******. who knows, it can make their mouth to shut at least one minutes, kan?. ;)

Ask yourself, are you one of the judges that I mentioned earlier?. If yes, then you really need to look at the mirror and ask, "are you really that perfect"? If yes, then say Alhamdulillah, don't be a cocky.  Pelik kan? How people can be so mean. especially the girls. They know how insecure a woman is. they know how important it is for a woman to feel good about themselves. Yet, they crumble the woman who's not that "so-called perfect" or if she's not in their league.

now I understand, why some human being who are not feeling good about themselves, choose suicide as the way out.  Because they hate themselves, lack of confidence and feel horrible about themselves  when they SHOULDN'T! feel that way.
 The question is why they feel and think like that? Obviously Due to this particular group that they call themselves as human, who like to look down on someone, who like to critic about others like a judge in the cheap singing competition, who like to "label" people, who feel that they are the greatest, who like to point out others' flaw. Yes, now I'm putting the blame on this particular group. They should take responsibility for their "free-judging".



End of rant, please be more careful in your words. And stop labeling people or give names that she/he hates. Please!, we are not equal, yet we are equally living in one planet. So please behave your mouth. If you can feel beautiful for being big, let me feel beautiful for being small too :'). is it wrong for me to love my "bones"?


p/s: why is it okay to call me skinny, kurus, cekeding, anorexic, but horrible for a person to call you fat? Why, skinny people has no heart meh?


words from a wee. Yes, i know she's small
(1.13 am.) 
I wanna feel good about myself too. I believe Allah has created us beautifully. Dont be so mean.



Wednesday 18 September 2013



diam.
Jika itu mampu jadi bahasa pengantara kita

diam.
Kita lebih selesa

dapat lari dari kebingitan dunia
yang tidak lepas membisik kata-kata
yang kadang menyahkan perhubungan.


tapi
dia kadang merasa
diam
perlahan-lahan membunuh dia dan dia.

angkuh.




ramble, 6.34 pm

Friday 13 September 2013





mengapa harus rapuh kerana dia
mengapa harus merintih kerana dia.

rapuh sangat. 













5.30 pm